The feeling of derailing one's life increases as the date approaches.
I am of course currently enjoying a perfectly fine summer full of activities here in the surroundings of my homeland, but I realize too that this will be my last summer here in a long time. The unpredictability of the changes that may happen to my life after the Asian trip provokes me a feeling of an ending of the things "as I used to know them", so now it's like I am living the last true days of my current life, and whatever changes may occur, they will change everything forever, like the course of a river that alters its path once and then the stream never returns to the former. One said that the end is the only thing that gives meaning to something, so now that is the way I feel, immersed in meaningful events.
And it is not a dark sensation, no, not at all. Now the sun shines high, days are pleasant and enjoyable and the routine is bearable. It's the time to have fun, to do what you have always been doing these estival days for the whole span of your life. But summer too will end pretty soon, and autumn will mark the no returning point up to the beginning of my trip, when I will start asking visas, looking for medical insurances and spreading the new of my depart among my beloved ones that still don't know it (and won't like it a bit).
One whole year (at least) of travelling, not being a mainstream worker as I am now, is a big deal, and I know it will not always be sunny mornings and happily warm days, there will be loads of raining afternoons, sadly cold nights and lonely passages too. I think too much about it, anyway, and most probably these matters must be faced from the heart.
This is not only the much feared jump-into-the-abyss but also the enticing walk-through-the-threshold, the gate to a different world, and once you cross it, there is no come back.